Ever notice how it's the little things in life that amuse us so much? More to the point, ever notice how it's the silly little idiocies in life that amuse us more than anything else? Well, this is not as much ''the little blog that could'' as it is ''the blog that enjoys going up the down escalator in your local mall.'' Will it have anything of real importance? No, probably not. But enjoy the ride never the less!

 

Well, it's time for another round of "Ding Dong, the kiosk's dead!"

Sure, at the last possible minute on Friday, Head Office added an extra day to its existence, making Monday the takedown day instead of Sunday. But as far as I know, now whenever I walk down that corridor in the mall, there will be empty floor space, leaving me with the chance to tak a few seconds and dance over the kiosk's grave, so to speak.

And now that's two things down for the "how the hell did this get so busy?!" month of February. With the kiosk closed and Inventory done for, I can more or less take a breather. (Or so the theory goes.) Already, though, I'm feeling horribly jealous of Mel, who can now sleep in and spend the next while relaxing through the days whenever she's not working on her courses.

I need someone at the company to blackmail. That way I can get paid not to show up.

But meh, in the meanwhile the tedium continues. With any luck the next few days will prove quieter. I'll need it since I get to spend tonight packing for tomorrow's voyage to Connecticut. And it suddenly occurs to me that perhaps, on the eve of a trip such as this, I should also do something about my dwindling supply of clean clothes and the horribly overflowing laundry hamper of not-so-clean clothes.

Unless they eat the cat. In which case, the laundry hamper and its carnivorous contents can stay right where they are.

Today's Lesson: postponed due to an extreme disliking of Tuesday morning. Instead, Today's Lesson will be a spare, and you can each work on other homework...self-discovery things...and so forth.
posted by Phillip at 5:41 AM

 


The big bad "I" has come and gone.

Inventory was today, and early this morning Mel & I grudgingly listened to the 5am alarm going off. All in all, the inventory was nothing particularly frightening or aggravating in terms of the count itself. Having done it once before, and in fact had more things precounted this time around too, minimal effort was needed to get everything done and finished by 2pm.

Not bad for a team of 4 people. Well...3 competent people and one temp (you can probably guess who, if you've been keeping up with the sporadic bits of nowhere the past few months) who seemed to be there mostly to see how far she could push us until we cheerfully indulged in a bit of homicidal rage against her. (Funny enough, she was but a single phone call away from impending doom...)

I've seen dead mice, or deranged sea anemones for that matter, perform semi-complex tasks with more speed and fewer pauses for repeated clarifications. Seriously, I will shed no tears for her inevitable departure once the kiosk goes down this weekend.

And by all accounts, it will be Sunday that Mel is set free.

Much rejoicing...or, there will be, once Mel eventually wakes up from her 3-day nap to catch up on all her sleep. It's somewhat odd that, due to the inventory work, I've been busier than her, but she's more exhausted than I am whenever we get home. I'm guessing it's the cold weather and lack of sunshine. (Mel's kinda solar-powered that way.)

But with the kiosk on the verge of shutting down--"Ding dong the witch is dead" and all that happiness!--and the inventory count now officially over, I do believe the worst of February has passed me by. (I would otherwise have used "the storm of February has passed", but in light of recent weather patterns, that's a little ironic.) I might be able to relax and breathe easily again at work for a while.

There's also the added bonus of AE reaching its end. The Sailormoon fanfic that has engulfed most of my writing energies for the last 2-3 years has but a single scene left to pen. After that, it's all betareads and revisions. (Before you congratulate me on it, consider the title of this bit of nowhere; that last scene requires one final kill, and then I've at last slaughtered pretty much the entire cast. So you may not necessarily want to Email me with "It's great to hear you've almost finished...everyone off?" if you're hoping for a survivor somewhere in there.)

It seems February is a month of closures for me. Hopefully for the better.

But I'm probably ranting and should slide into bed myself.

And to all who celebrated it, Happy Valentine's Day. Here's hoping you each indulged in the ol' Lupercalia tradition and smacked the one you loved with a bloody piece of rabbit.


Today's Lesson (brought to you by Pan's Labyrinth) : if you're in an underground chamber, and there is a scary looking monster whose eyeballs are sitting on the plate in front of it, and all around you are gory pictures of how said monster likes to eat children, and there's a pile of shoes from the children it's already eaten, and you've been warned your life depends on you not touching anything...for the love of God, don't eat the fucking grapes on the monster's dining table. No good ever comes of that.
posted by Phillip at 8:42 PM

 


This was originally scheduled to be the "Huzzah! Thank God It's The Last Friday For The Kiosk!" post. However, with 3 days left to before the winter kiosk was due to be closed, Head Office called us up and exclaimed in a cheerful voice, "Guess what? We've extended the kiosk for another full week! Isn't that great?"

They seemed awfully surprised by my slightly acerbic response of, "Okay, that's great, but since you didn't tell us until the last minute, and almost all of the staff there have already made other plans or gotten other jobs lined up for next week, who do I have left to run it?"

They were equally surprised when they said I could just push a couple of the store personnel over to the kiosk for some shifts, to which I responded with, "And now that my store employees are over at the kiosk, who do I have left to help me do precount for my store inventory?"

While I cannot say this head-up-assery comes as a complete and unadulterated shock, this does remain the latest if not most painfully obvious reminder that, despite what all the Emails and company newsletters say, proper inter-store/department communication is one of those "do as we say, don't do as we do" things as far as Head Office goes.

If I manage to survive next week without: a) killing someone, or b) dropping dead from exhaustion, I'll be impressed. As it is, I've already have to completely alter the store (and now the kiosk's) schedule at the last minute, and I'm hoping it'll still work out for everyone. To boot, it looks like I'll have to cover an evening shift at the kiosk after pulling a 6:30am start to the day for the store's inventory.

And if anyone at Payroll asks why I've pulled so much overtime next week...oh, the answers they'll get. To quote Chuck Palanuik: I am Joe's seething rage. (Which is a lot better than being Joe's colon, since that would mean I was quite literally full of shit. The smell alone would be atrocious.)

Beyond that, I'm maintaining as constructive an attitude as I can. Sometimes it's the simpler things in life that can help calm the seething rage: cute, fluffy bunnies, or chocolate, or in my case, killing a bunch of characters off in a fanfic. 3 Inner Senshi down, 1 to go. Ha ha! (I am Joe's homicidal impulses! Which would be much better than going "I am Metaluna!" mostly because it would mean I was on the tubes in Exeter's ship.)

Today's Lesson: watching an entire season of Avatar in a single 8-9 hour sitting has the surprising side effect of making your eyes start to cross afterwards. (Then again, it was worth it.)
posted by Phillip at 5:32 AM

 

It's February! January has come to its horrid, snowy end, and at long last the mall will calm down and I will have the chance to relax, breathe and become slightly more visible in the world (wired & otherwise) once again.

...well, except for all the work that needs doing this week, as we close the Winter kiosk down for next Sunday

...and except for the store inventory, which happens a week from Thursday (and which requires us to do a massive & frantic precount of everything in the back stockroom, and a bunch of annoying stuff out in the store, ie: wallets & winterwear)

...and except for the week-long trip down to Connecticut Mel & I will be doing a week after Inventory, wherein a much belated Commercialmas-ish celebration will be had with her family, and I will in all likelihood return to a store that will already be crumbling apart and require at least 2-3 days before it gets fixed up properly.


...hm, suddenly I find myself asking what part of February is supposed to be relaxing. (Note to self: kill anyone who dares to say "hopefully things will pick up for you guys in March", and blame their gruesome demise on El Nino.)


Today's Lesson: just when you think it's safe to finally have a day off, someone calls in sick, leaving you the only person available to take the shift. Because there's nothing better than minding a store in the midst of Superduperbowl Sunday and contending with everyone who wants to do last-minute shopping before the game. (Unless we get really lucky, and the game starts at 3pm our time...if that happens, the mall will get substancially quieter halfway through the shift.)

This prompts me to ask: does anyone have an actual, working katamari ball? I swear once I roll up all the annoying customers (and *cough* accidentally all of our winterwear too), I'll hose the Katamari down and return it to you.
posted by Phillip at 8:06 AM